Negative feelings are one the worst things we can experience as a
human being. And you might be reading this because you have some sort
of negative feeling(s) that you have or encounter on a daily basis. I
may know what you're going through right now the thing is I'm just like
you.
There is not a day that goes by in my life where I do not
encounter negative feelings. I've probably tried hundreds of different
ways to cope with them, from trying my best not to think of a negative
thought when it comes around the corner to reframing my thoughts into
something else.
But no matter what, my negative feelings still keep coming like a tidal wave one after another.
Before
you submerge yourself into another method of how to get rid of negative
feelings, I want to share what has helped me. I can truly say that if
you can master this, then you'll be able to handle your negative
feelings a lot better in the long run, rather than just deal with the
symptoms for a brief moment(e.g. do something, it goes away, it comes
back later, repeat, etc.).
The key to getting rid of negative
feelings isn't a giant mystery, but many people get angry, depressed,
jealous, irritated, anxious, confused, and worried over things that may
seem impossible to overcome. It would be pretty nice if we could stay
detached to our emotions and not let them affect us and our thinking,
but emotions are part of the body; they here to stay. And since we think
about hundreds if not thousands of thoughts per day, it's natural that a
few of those thoughts can affect how we feel. The biggest one being
fear.
- Fear that we cannot do it...
- Fear that it will not work...
- Fear that this is impossible...
- Fear that this is not for me...
- Fear that we are always out of luck...
- Fear that we will never win...
When this
happens, our imaginations run wild with more negative thoughts, and this
can totally cause our bodies to go beyond just negative feelings. Do
you ever feel so out of sync with yourself that you start to analyze
every different rational way just to get a hold of your emotions? Then
what happens is you're so in the midst of analyses paralyses that your
body actually because paralyzed? At this point the mere process of just
taking action is not even an option anymore.
If you're a person
who constantly finds themselves analyzing your feelings, what you need
to do is stop. This will always cause you to have negative emotions.
They won't go away just because you started to reframe your thoughts
into something differently. What happens when another similar situation
comes up? What happens if it's worse? Will you have to come up with
another hundred ways until you reframe your negative thoughts and
feelings into something else?
I used do this a lot for hours and
the end result was always the same; either staying the same place where I
was hours ago or backtracking.
For example:
"I'm afraid that people will think lowly of me if I do something wrong."
This
is negative thinking will cause tension in your body, and you're body
will then tell your subconscious to stop working. Then your mind go into
a mode where all you are doing is battling with yourself endlessly
through heated analyses.
- "Why would people think lowly of me?"
- "Who are these people?"
- "Should I keep going?"
- "Just go!"
- "What do I need to do?"
All this talk of analyzing the situation is useless...
If
you want to get rid of negative thinking, do not battle your body with
your other thoughts! What you need to do is start trying to be in
complete harmony with your body. They should be an aligned, not
disjointed.
In other words: just be.
When a negative situation comes up, such as a negative thought or a negative emotion; let it be.
Nothing outside of your physical body is actually happening; everything is going on inside of you.
When you feel worry, anxiety, or fear, let it be. Accept that it's there; don't try to fight it.
When any negative situation comes, be prepared for it, be aware of it, but most importantly, be conscious of it.
Sometimes
when this happens, you'll absolutely need to stop what you're doing and
go somewhere where it's completely silent and just sit there being
undisturbed by. This may take 1 hour; this may take 10 minutes. It
depends on how strong the negative emotion is but whatever you do, don't
try to fight your negative feelings.
Don't question it, don't analyze it, don't talk about it, and don't obsess or think about it.
Just be.
Be
aware of your feelings and allow them run through your body. As hard as
it may be at first, if you can do this, then you will be able to
channel that negative energy into something positive later on.
Understand
that whatever thought caused the uncomfortable you are having, you
first accept that it is what it is. The second thing is being conscious
of how that makes you feel? Specifically where is the feeling located?
Do you feel in it in your chest, your arms; your whole body? Maybe you
can't even identify where it is because the feeling moves from place to
place in your body.
Don't go into an emotional tantrum like some
people do. This just feeds into the negative feelings even more. Just
stay still. Recognize these feelings and actually feel them.
This may be contrary to what people belief, but the truth is your not escaping your feelings. You're facing them straight on.
As
you're feeling them, say to yourself, "I understand that this is what I
am thinking about right now, and I understand that this is what I'm
feeling right now. I accept this."
To really understand how to
accept something, sometimes you won't even need words at all; you won't
even need to say what is written above. Words may cause even more
trouble if you start talking within your mind again. It should be
silent.
You just are just being at the moment.
You are absorbing whatever happens to be the case.
Whatever you are thinking and feeling, you accept.
If
you don't know something, then you don't know. Accept the feeling of
not knowing something. If you truly accept something for what it is, you
should feel an instant calmness to you.
Anger, jealous,
curiosity, and fear should slowly dissipate from your body and you
should be able to think more clearly and logically on what to do next
once these feelings are gone.
You're not fighting your negative feelings; you're absorbing them and being in sync with them.
The
more you are able to do this, the easier it becomes. It's definitely a
skill that is worth investing in my opinion because if you can learn to
accept the small negative feelings that you are having, then you will be
able to learn how to deal with bigger negative feelings the next time
it comes. But you'll be prepared when the 83th negative situation comes
up, you'll be so completely detached from it that you'll simply brush it
off and move on. That's what you're working up to.
It definitely
beats taking pills from doctors that are just a temporarily relief. If
you can't accept the first negative feeling, then you won't be able to
get through the others. You'll constantly have to rely on short term
alternative routes to escape the uncomfortable.
I've always
disregarded the quote, "No pain, no gain." I've heard so many quotes in
my lifetime that sometimes I just neglect them. But this quote sums it
up.
Each time you feel a negative feeling, it may be painful but
accept it. You're battling it; you're absorbing it. You're gaining
ground each time you do this and by the time the 83rd negative situation
comes you; you'll be so detached to it that you'll just move on.
You'll be indifferent.
The real question isn't how to get rid of
negative feelings? People who try to "get rid of it" in my opinion, are
taking the wrong first step and will have a hard time doing so because
you're in constant battle with something that's naturally a part of you.
Emotions are not something where you can just "remove" or "erase" as you're not getting rid of anything.
You're absorbing something and putting it for better use later on.
And the key to doing this first understand it and accept it. Allow to to be there.
Or to put it how I'd liked to put it: just be.
By doing this, you'll be able to conquer your negative feelings, move forward, and be prepared when the next one comes up.
